Clichébreakers
by faye tash
Summary: A short series focusing on clichés and parodies.
1. The New Boy in School

The thing about being a fanfiction writer is that you have a tendency to fantasize about random book characters entering your class.

So when Mr Dimond introduced Nick Jackson to the class, I thought I was dreaming. So I pinched myself.

"Ow!" Everyone turned around to stare at me. I gave a sheepish smile. "Oops?"

Mr Dimond rolled his eyes and said, "Go and sit with the crazy girl, Nick. She won't hurt you. Probably."

Nick pulled out the clair next to me and sat down. "Hi, I'm Nick. What's your name?"

"Chris. Firstly, I doubt that's you're real name, because nobody seriously calls himself 'Nick Jackson' and isn't a demigod. Second, you're probably Nico di Angelo anyway, so I want to know where's Camp Half Blood."

Nick blinked. "I'm not Nico di Angelo. I look nothing like him. At all."

"Glamour."

"Nico hasn't been mentioned to be good with the Mist."

"Lies. I bet you're Percy's son then."

"My dad's name is _Steve_, thank you very much."

"So Nick, what would you and Chris happen to be discussing?" Mr Dimond turned around.

"Parentage."

"Don't be racist." Nick said, shoving me.

"Meh. I didn't say anything..."

Mr Dimond just sighed and turned back to the whiteboard.

"So... you're really not a demigod?"

"Nope."

"Damn."

A/N:

Written for fictional and humorous purposes. I swear that none of this has happened to me... yet. It's just meant to be a joke on the never-ending cliche of Nico/Percy/Luke/whoever invading the Sue's classroom and telling her she's a demigod.

A few things: there will be several entries based on clichés in the fandoms, so yay. Most will just be on general clichés. Or just parodies. Fun fun fun fun fun.

Review, please. I like it when people review.


	2. Visiting the Platform

Oh. My. Freaking. Gosh.

I was at King's Cross. On the First of September.

Of course the fact that I was at the real King's Cross meant that I was totally a wizard!

Then I saw him. Black hair isn't that unusual in UK.

But I saw the green eyes, and I knew it was him.

"Ow, dammit, I'm not Harry Potter!"

"You totally are!" I argued, "you have the eyes and hair and you're pushing a trolley and your trolley has a huge trunk on it and says H.P.-"

"Yes, for Henry Payton! Go away! I'm waiting for someone!"

"It's Hermione, isn't it, or Ron, or Ginny, or Neville or Luna or somebody-"

"No, I'm waiting for my cousin! My female cousin, I might add, so go away!"

"Dudley has a sister?"

Henry did a face-palm and turned to face me. "I'm going to walk away slowly now. Your parents are probably looking for you. Right?"

I rolled my eyes. "Heh, no. They promised to meet me at the entrance after 11, so I'm safe till then. Besides, you're totally Harry Potter."

"I don't even have a scar!"

"It's called concealer, duh." I raised an eyebrow. "You're totally smart enough to cover that. Seriously. Or Hermione did it."

"For the last time, I AM NOT, HARRY FREAKIN' POTTER!"

Pause. Then, "wait, you're a Starkid?"

I watched in fascination as Henry began to bang his head against the wall repeatedly. "I didn't know wizards knew about that."

"We've been over this, I'm not a wizard."

"No we haven't, all you've said is that you're not Harry Potter."

"ARGH!"

A/N: Typical fangirl. Over Harry of all people. It's kind of short, but they're not really meant to be long, just... short parodies, I guess.

Reviews make my day. :)


	3. My Ever Loving Sister

"You're kidding me." I said firmly. "I don't have any sisters."

The thing giggled at me, "of course you have a sister! I'm Alexandria Francesca Marian-Susanna Daniella Jackson! I helped to save the world, remember? I was the one who stabbed Kronos while you held back the army of evil and both of us were crowned heroine and hero of Olympus together! After the war, Nico became my boyfriend, SO THERE, PREPS!" She pointed her middle finger at the sky.

I stared at her blankly. "Nico isn't dating anyone. He's 14. He doesn't even want a girlfriend. What are you pointing at anyway?"

She giggled again, the insane creature. "Nonono, you've got it all wrong! His first quest was to save me from my death in an evil pit that Luke was being resurrected in with Kronos inside him! After that we fell in love!"

I was still confused. "Nico hasn't gone on a quest yet. Kronos was scattered so far that he won't rise for another couple more centuries. Who the Hades are you?"

She growled. "Impossible! How can you be immune to my awesome past? There's only one thing left to try!" she cleared her voice, and it changed to a honey-like tone, "I was so afraid until you found me! My mother abuses me and my step-dad rapes me! My step brothers bully me until I'm bruised all over!"

I was pulled by the allure of her voice, but shook myself out of it. "You are not my sister! I don't care who you are, get out of my cabin!"

Suddenly, a swirling vortex appeared over her head and a glowing portal appeared nearby. With a cry, my 'sister' was sucked into the vortex, which closed with a pop.

A teenage girl in combat gear stepped out of the portal. "Ugh, I hate portal travel," she moaned, dusting herself off. She had brown hair that hung to her shoulders and apart from the gear, she looked completely ordinary.

I raised an eyebrow and slowly backed away. "You're not like her, are you?"

She stared at me, then doubled over laughing. "No, I'm a containment agent. I help to capture Sues and she was one. Can I have details?" She pulled a writing pad out of belt and a pen.

After I had told her what had progressed, she nodded and after jotting down a few notes, put them back in her belt. "Thanks for keeping her occupied. We'll keep you noted, okay? Warn the camp. Especially the guys, you and Nico need to keep an eye out for people like her."

The portal re-opened, and before she stepped through, she turned around and winked. "Oh yeah, I'm Alice. If you need help, ask for me." She handed me a business card and strode through the portal.

I looked at the card. It was the most horrifying shade of pink-purple I had ever seen, but the text was readable.

_Alice Hampton_

_Containment Agent_

_The Canon Containment Centre Organisation_

_15 Dakota Road_

_The Multiverse_

I carefully put the card in my drawer, then walked out of my cabin. I had an announcement to make.

A/N:

Kudos to anyone who knows what the colour is called, and gets the joke.

The CCCO belongs to the games have begun, and Alice to me. But she is a character there.

This was for the "daughter of Poseidon who falls in love with Nico" cliché. Yes, that one.

Review please :)


	4. My Long Lost Twin

"No, Percy."

Percy Jackson stared at his girlfriend. "Please, Annabeth?" he pleaded.

"No. I don't care how much Harry Potter looks like you. You are not allowed to fly to London to check out whether he's real."

"What if I asked Rachel for a prophecy? There's a possibility that he does exist!"

"No, he doesn't. Harry Potter is a fictional character."

"We live in a world with centaurs, satyrs, Greek gods and the Oracle lives in a cave close by. You're telling me that it's impossible for a fictional character to exist?"

"Yes, yes I am. Now go back to bed Percy, it's 2am and you're breaking curfew."

"B-But, _Annabeth_. He looks just like me, except for the weird scar and other potential deficiencies! He could be my long-lost twin or something!"

Annabeth turned over in her bed and glared at him. "_No_, Percy. Just, _no_. I think your mother would have told you if you had a long-lost twin brother. He's not even the same _age_ as you. How does that work? He even has his own set of parents, no matter how _dead_ they are. Now, get out of the Athena cabin and _let me go to sleep_, Seaweed Brain."

"But Annabeth!"

"Get. Out. Before. I. Call. The. Harpies. It's a wonder that you haven't been noticed yet."

"Fine. But we're talking about this in the morning."

"No, we're not. Now, GET. OUT."

A/N:

No, I'm not dead yet.

Yes, I know this is really short. But this whole twin thing is overrated.

This is mostly conversation, by the way. If you don't get it, Percy read the Harry Potter books and realised that Harry looks a lot like him. He therefore decides to break into the Athena cabin at 2am and plead with Annabeth to let him go to London and find his long lost twin brother. Who does not exist in the same continuum. I like to think he got caught in a couple of traps on the way.

Review please~


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